Here at Soul Star Aromatics, we believe that in order to help others evolve in a soulful way, we’ve got to do the work ourselves!
So, what is it that we’ve been working with as of late? ABUNDANCE… and in turn, for us, that means working with fear of not having enough. It is a struggle that many of us face without even realizing how we naturally build barriers that block the flow of abundance into our lives. Often, it is based on a deep-rooted fear that we are somehow unworthy. How can we change our vibrations and what does this process look like to the dedicated, soulful warrior? Emily, the creator, and founder of Soul Star Aromatics has shared her personal journey below.
Identifying the Block
My belief system is strong and true to the fact that feelings and emotions have a vibratory resonance with the world. I truly believe that what we choose to focus on, or vibrate is exactly what will also come back to us. If we are constantly carrying the resonance of joy, more joy returns. If we’re resonating with the energy of anger, angry situations and reactions will surface. Fear and doubt can block us from attaining our desires or reaching for our goals and dreams.
When I began to work with the vibratory, energetic resonance of abundance I found that fear was STRONGLY coming forth… it was causing a major block! Every time I’d begin to meditate and tap into the energy of abundance, fear would come instead. This was frustrating, as fear is super counterproductive and not the high vibe energy I want to send into the universe. So it became clear to me, pretty quickly, I had some work to do.
Once I validated and accepted that I had a block, I knew I had to ask myself an important question: What are my fears about abundance? Here’s what came to mind immediately:
- I hold fear about whether I will actually receive abundance.
- I hold a fearful belief of deservedness. “Is it really true that I am capable and deserving to bring forth abundance?”
- I hold a fear that if I choose to follow my spirit and heart, that I will be shown that I wasn’t good enough after all. So, let’s call that fear of failure and fear of trusting the path I’ve chosen.
That, my friends, was just the tip of the iceberg. I have, as some would measure, a shit ton of FEAR.
Validating the Block
In the past, when I would have these thoughts, I would push them to the side and do my best to power PAST them. The downside to this method was that it meant I would also, inadvertently, let these feelings linger behind the veil of denial. Just because I would push past them didn’t mean I was actually dealing with them, let alone ever really FACING them.
When talking to a friend about this recurring pattern, they asked me if I’d ever let the feelings and emotions of my fear come to the forefront. Had I ever allowed these seemingly debilitating feelings truly come forward, so that I could honour them, validate them, and in turn, work WITH them?
Time to Clear the Block and Release Limitations
This was a big ah-ha moment for me. I realized I hadn’t validated, in an authentic way, and that I was scared. And because of that, I wasn’t able to truly identify where this feeling of fear was coming from.
Now, when I feel worried or scared that abundance is lacking, I take the time to sit with it. I take the time to actually picture the emotion moving into the forefront of my psyche. And then, now this is a tough one, I allow myself to FEEL HOW FEAR IS AFFECTING MY BODY. The emotions it conjoiners up, the welling of tears it creates, the self doubt it encompasses. I ask the questions of: when is the first time in my life that I remember feeling this fear… what part of my vibratory, cellular structure has been holding on to this pattern. How old was I and what did I need at the time to relieve this visceral emotion.
I choose to embrace the deep shadow part of myself that I have been protecting because I know that it needs to find the Light.
Now, I dedicate myself to my feelings of my fear because I know that to embrace abundance, I must choose to embrace what is keeping me from obtaining it. I need to embrace FEAR.
I’ve shared my mediation process below as well as what I saw and learned. I hope that it may ignite some inspiration for you! May the Light shine on each and every crevice of your fear, for I must embrace the dark to find it!
My Meditation Diary
This is one of the most transformational meditations I’ve had in a long time and I think it’s because I really started with the basics. I first cleansed my stones and set the intention to activate their most powerful and sacred healing properties. Sandalwood was selected as the oil to work with as its scared service is attuned to deep listening. It is perfect for meditation as sandalwood oil encourages a stillness of the mind and helps us to listen to our inner wisdom from our Higher Self.
I chose African green garnet at the Third Eye because Of its association with abundant manifestation, ability to provide confidence and because it heals the root cause of feelings related to scarcity.
Next was Magnetite above the head, below the feet and one in each the left and right hand. Magnetite has an incredible ability to balance polarities – male, female, physical, spiritual, etc. It awakens hidden potentials and is extremely grounding.
Prehnite was placed at my ears (I couldn’t find my polished Prehnite stones so wore earrings instead.) This stone has wonderful capabilities of settling the heart while offering an opportunity to reflect on one’s experiences. It activates personal power and connects us to higher vibratory realms.
I also had Moldavite. I have been wearing moldavite in a pendant for well over a year at the heart chakra. Its energies hold to potential to awaken the intelligence of the heart, receive clear messages and guidance. It is a catalyst for self-healing and evolutionary growth.
(Reference: Robert Simmons, The Book of Stones)
Connecting with My Higher Self
Once settled, I could feel energetic keys opening portals and unlocking gateways to my higher self. I knew clearing had begun. Paying attention to physical sensations allowed me to delve deeper and come back to centre when I would notice my thoughts travelling elsewhere.
I asked my Higher Self “When is the first time you remember fearing lack of abundance?” Age 10-12 years swiftly came to mind. The next question asked was, “What happened when I was this age to cause this?”
My psyche immediately brought me back to a time when I got off of the school bus and saw my Mother’s car running in the yard. Little me sat for what seemed like hours in a snowbank, processing what was to come. I knew instinctively at that tender age, that my life was about to change. My Mom had been sick and worked in a family business that was going under. Her name had been splashed through the local papers and her character put in question. I knew that she had been stressed for quite some time and I knew that her job was in danger.
Although my parents tried to hide it from me, I had heard rumblings and fights about money. I felt the tension, despair, and sorrow in my home. I also knew that my Mother’s health was deteriorating from this stress. She had rheumatoid arthritis and had trouble holding coffee cups and opening jars for quite a while. I would watch her take medication and I felt, wholeheartedly, her pain. Both physically and emotionally.
My meditation brought me directly back into that moment in the snowbank. I was on the street corner, just before my house. I saw my Mother’s car in the driveway, running. And this wasn’t normal. She was never home at this time of the day and she would never leave her car running. At that moment, my heart sank as I knew my life as I knew it was about to change. I remembered such a deep feeling of despair and dread, so crippling that I couldn’t face going home. So, young me sat in the snowbank and began to cry. I didn’t want to face what was ahead of me. I knew my Mom wasn’t going to be working anymore. I knew she was going to the hospital. I was scared that we would lose our home and I was scared that I would lose my Mother.
Removing the Block of Fear
Adult me was able to recognize that this was the first time I feared not being taken care of and provided for. So in this state of learning, I went to 10 yr old me, sat in the snowbank with her and cuddled her tight. I reassured her that she would be ok. I reminded her that Spirit comes to the earth to learn and experience, and we are all protected and cared for energetically. I told her that this lesson of job loss and sickness was not for her, but her mother and that she didn’t have to carry the burden of the energy or lessons. I assured her that their family would make it through and that everything, in the end, would be alright.
This comforted me. I saw and felt the energy lift and change within that child. Her heart became liberated, gold and white light cracking through her chest, opening.
I asked her is there anything else you want to know? She replied, “I want to know that my Mom is going to be ok”. With this, I burst into powerful tears which engorged my eyes. You see, this is something I asked myself for years as an adult. My Mother had a stroke when I was 22 which left her unable to speak, eat or function in any way. This question of “I want to know that my Mom is going to be ok” traveled with me through more than one life experience.
The immense pain I felt as a young adult truly matched that of my inner child. I allowed the tears and pain to stream from my eyes and energetic body. I told my inner child that her Mom would be ok. I told her about the great aspects of spirit and how we come to the earth to experience and learn lessons, and that our spirits are always connected, pure and abundant in the ethers.
I then took her to the higher realms to meet with her, our, Mother’s spirit where we were reunited. Spirits together, in pure form, abundantly safe. Together again.
If you are looking to clear blocks from your life and work with abundance, try a similar meditation. Be willing to accept that you are worthy of attracting what you desire, and what you desire will begin to naturally flow.